Of all the harebrained, self-aggrandizing schemes perpetrated by my dear comrade, David Schoffman, this one is the most flippant. Like all neurotics, David is a master of unscientific medical diagnoses. Inventing a brand new debility is another classic case of a solution in search of a problem.
This so-called "attention surplus" syndrome pretends to identify an ability some people may have, to evade the distractions of technology. As we all acknowledge by now, such a rare and remote aptitude is simply impossible.
Let's all be adult about this. It's time to definitively wave goodbye to prolonged patience.
Together with my good friend, David Schoffman, I have found myself involved in all manner of dubious enterprises. I regret most of them. Linking my fate to the notoriously unreliable Los Angeles painter has caused irreparable damage to my credibility.
That said, there are some lingering advantages to our collaborations. For one, I have gained significant access to the highest echelons of Southern California's art politburo. To most North American arts professionals, Paris remains a provincial backwater, best relegated to Instagram-ready vacation photos. Thanks to Schoffman, I'm almost a household name among the L.A. artsy cognoscenti.
Another benefit has been my lasting affiliation with the Plausible Deniability Project™. Our latest project has been the publication of Micah Carpentier's Song of Songs, a beautiful facsimile of an original artist book by the legendary Cuban artist. Edited and annotated by Dahlia Danton, the book includes tributes by both David and I.
In all modesty, my essay is much more interesting.
