PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS AN OLD MAN

For an old guy, my good friend David Schoffman is still in pretty good shape. In the summer months he never fully gets dressed and he typically returns from his stuffy studio with his tanned skin stained with paint. 

 

I'm not entirely sure what he's been working on these days. He rarely shows his work and when he does it's usually pictures that are decades old. I know he's busy but he remains annoyingly elusive when quizzed on the substance of his newer projects.

Occasionally he publishes a self-portrait - more as a practical joke than as a serious aesthetic gesture.

Still, I must hand it to him.

He's really in good shape.

SOMEONE SHOULD TELL HIM TO SHUT UP

Judging from the sheer variety of soapboxes he habitually ascends, my dear friend David Schoffman must be the cleanest artist in Los Angeles.

He seems to be everywhere articulating Delphic, epigrammatic and highly quotable pronouncements meant to assure his place in the pantheon of certified cranks.

Unlike his Dada progenitors however, Schoffman has the internet, which, depending on your point of view may be a tragedy or a coincidence.