BEWITCHED AND BEWILDERED

I recently read an interesting piece of investigative journalism that advanced the well-substantiated notion that the Trump family are Wiccans. This wasn't published on some clickbait gossip mill but in the extremely reputable Journal des planches, the news and culture quarterly that comes out of Paris' prestigious PolyScience.

I mention this not because I feel that Wiccans are less equipped to govern our cousins across the sea but because my good friend David Schoffman, an artist of no small influence, has done a considerable amount of design work for the Wiccan church.

He told me that the Wicaan elders are a very reasonable lot and the fact that the Trumps value the counsel of witches should in no way alarm the general public.

Of greater concern, he went on to explain, is the fact that the Trump family is heavily leveraged with the Crown Prince of North Staakijian, a small, mineral rich monarchy that claimed its independence after the fall of the Soviet Union.

The Staakijian Fresco

By a not so strange coincidence, my good friend David has just completed a monumental fresco for the Staakijian House of Parliament, an architectural fig leaf where semi-annual meetings take place for the benefit of YouTube.

The fact that my colleague finds little or no conflict in working for religious cranks and despots is upsetting but not surprising. He's always been a social climber. What troubles me are the small degrees of separation between he and the Trumps.

I've always suspected Schoffman of subtle forms of aesthetic compromise. But here we find evidence of something much more flagrant.

There's a rumor circulating that David is hard at work designing the new Trump coat of arms, a royal tradition that the President-elect hopes to revive in order to make America a bit more European again.

At least he's not working for Gadaffi anymore.