IMMUNE SYSTEM

When was it that the appearance of stress - an undeniably unfavorable mental condition - began to bestow upon the sufferer a mantel of prestige? 

These days one boasts of stress the way one gloats over luxury purchases, extravagant tasting menus or large losses at the baccarat tables of Monte Carlo. 

It's telling that the most common word in French for stress is stress. Its etymology suggests its foreign provenance but now even in Paris the furrowed brow has come to bestow a kind of backward right to brag.

Nowhere, however, is this perversity more prevalent than in the great urban centers of the U.S.A. Among the professional classes, quality of life is typically measured by the absence of leisure and the eager collation of superfluous responsibilities.

There's no greater expression of noble grandiloquence than the solemn locution "I'm too busy."

And so it is with my dear friend David Schoffman who never misses an opportunity to remind me how much, as he puts it, he has on his plate. The fact that the image of the plate - une assiette - suggests to me the rituals of alimentary repose, is enough of an indication that David and I differ greatly on the definition of "the good life."

He eats - when he actually finds the time to do so - standing up and typically from a styrofoam take-out box. He counts his calories and rations his carbs like a fifteen year old ballerina. He wears a fitbit, a bluetooth earclip headset and an Apple Watch and if he's not in the act of texting or talking it would a good idea to check his pulse.

At one time David was an interesting artist, now he's merely successful. I remember him fondly as the well-read sybarite who knew his way around the washed-rind cheeses of Burgundy and the complex Gamays and Pinots of the Mâconnais.

Now he has joined the distinguished ranks of the tired and the stressed and has little time for the trifling and unprofitable pleasures of the senses. 

But that's okay for in California all social commerce is conducted online so unless you're sharing your laptop it's now possible to live your entire life practically germ-free!