My dear friend David Schoffman is to character what Kabuki is to song. Though one is contained within the other and though they are folded neatly together like dinner napkins and though they are interdependent yet vehemently autonomous, their relationship is fragile and subject to the desperate balances of perfect form.
In other words, though David can be a nice, reliable and honest guy, he can also be what we call in French un connard.
Think for a moment about how he expresses himself. Have you ever wondered why his sentences are as long as winter weather forecasts and how he avoids monosyllables as if they were beneath his grandiloquent dignity? Have you ever listened for his sneaky alliterations or his innocuous puns that are meant to convey how clever he thinks he is.
Even the way he stands, with his feet wide apart and his hands buried in his pockets as if his scrotum was buttressed by a scaffold that stretched from hip to hip.
He's awfully strange in the way he has curated a Byzantine body language trying to communicate an unearned yet aspirational authority.
But the thing that really kills me is the innocent way he sits in a chair with that surly belligerence of 17th century cleric. I'm on to Schoffman's bullying theatrics and that's why we're friends to this day.
I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I know just what kind of schmuck he really is.
Think for a moment about how he expresses himself. Have you ever wondered why his sentences are as long as winter weather forecasts and how he avoids monosyllables as if they were beneath his grandiloquent dignity? Have you ever listened for his sneaky alliterations or his innocuous puns that are meant to convey how clever he thinks he is.
He's awfully strange in the way he has curated a Byzantine body language trying to communicate an unearned yet aspirational authority.
But the thing that really kills me is the innocent way he sits in a chair with that surly belligerence of 17th century cleric. I'm on to Schoffman's bullying theatrics and that's why we're friends to this day.
I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I know just what kind of schmuck he really is.
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