I tried texting my good friend David Schoffman the other day ...
... but he was busy talking to God.
He does that a lot lately.
He almost severed the lumbrical tendon of his right index finger in an accident that involved a small jar, a bathtub and an anonymous double-jointed friend and ever since then he seems to have found religion.
This more circumspect David spends hours staring
He used to light votive candles in his studio but he almost burnt the place down. He then tried wearing shirts and slacks strictly made out of red burlap but his chest hair got too caught up in its itchy weft.
Talking to God seemed to him the kind of pastime that was vague enough to be innocent but lofty enough to merit the investment of his valuable time.
Oh ... did I mention he was a Pisces?
That son of a beech!
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