PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Bushy eyebrows are like small pets grafted to a reluctant face. In a world that insists upon defensible physical adjuncts my good friend David Schoffman is at a distinct disadvantage.

In David's mind, most of the odd circumstances surrounding his career can directly or indirectly be attributed to his supraorbital hedges. He credits his appearance to the fact that he has never sold out an exhibition on the day of its vernissage - a yardstick comparable to the arc and reach of a middle schooler's piss.

He blames his tufts for his misbegotten marriage - arguing that had he been more elegantly manicured above the eyes his ex-wife would not have seen him as a worthless, bald-headed, artsy-fartsy clown.

That point is debatable.

The larger point in that genius is often dormant in people who suffer from healthy social adjustment. The true fruits of unusual talent are typically expressed by those with an axe to grind. It's the angry, the resentful, the hurt and the disenfranchised who have the most to prove. My dear friend David might never have embarked on his insane campaign to produce a polyptych of one-hundred oil painted panels had he been tamed and bred with flawless social skills.

Eyebrows aside, Schoffman also suffers from sloppy hygiene, a grinding stutter, eczema, irritable bowel, night sweats, clammy hands, legal blindness and shameless hypocrisy.

And therein lies the true secret to his great success!